Every day begins with Bible study and more than one scripture of the day. It keeps me centered and reminds me to keep my priorities clear.

I missed my Bible plan study yesterday. I prioritized it today. I was met with the same themes. Over and over again, the Israelites strayed from God, were mistreated by others, and found their way back to God. They treated each other terribly along the way. The same themes, over, and over, and over again.

I cannot believe the long suffering God endures with us. We are constantly wayward. We are constantly prioritizing incorrectly. Just like me. I put chores before Bible study. I got wrapped up in other things.

It makes me wonder if we are all in constant peril because we prioritize incorrectly. In simple terms, we forget to love one another. We forget to see each other. We forget to listen to each other and help.

I know I do it. I can think of one way that my husband pointed out to me.

I am long suffering with children. I know they are becoming the person they are yet to be. I take great pains to assist them in healthy growth. I show them how to show respect for each other, make space for each other, and find something to love/like about each person in the space.

I don’t do this with adults. Mitch reminded me yet again that adults are tall children. Yes, he is the first person to scold me when I am unfair. If I am completely transparent, I get mad first and then I understand. He truly loves me and understands the way I want to be. Most of the time, he gently guides me back to myself. Often, it isn’t gentle, but I understand that too.

God isn’t always gentle. He is long suffering for sure, but his corrections are not gentle. I’m going through a years worth of change and what I will describe as shedding at God’s request. I don’t always understand, often cry, but I honor what it is that I feel I am being told to do.

As my business ends in the middle of a pandemic with so much I cannot control, I know God’s in control and I keep reminding myself to trust him. When racism is so boldly entering all aspects of the news, I pray for God’s guidance in how I can help. When there are fires, riots, and all hell breaking loose, I cannot help but wonder if we are just the same as the Israelites.

Have we lost sight of God? Have we stopped putting him first? Have social media outlets become our Asher poles and worshipping of Baal? Are we just so angry, so frustrated, and so fed up that we act in ways that are unkind, unsafe, and unconcerned for others? Are we so lost that we just repost what other people post to fit in? Are we even reading and fact checking? Can we find our way back? Do we need a Joshua, Moses, etc?

God reminds us to love one another. He reminds us to care for the poor. He weaves us together as a tapestry of colors, communities, and religions. He unified us through Jesus. Please don’t get it wrong. The Jews are the chosen community. It was through Christ that God said that if we believe in Christ we can be unified with the Jews. Don’t believe me? Read everything Saul/Paul wrote about in his letters. He saw both sides. He was a Jew and a Christian. Jesus brought the gentiles, the greeks, and the misfits into his army. Who have we lost sight of that needs to be included? Who would Jesus make plain to us now? He would unify the different, the excluded, and the shunned. Yup, they were adults. I see you God. I see that I need to be long suffering with EVERYBODY. I need to include everyone to be right with you. Yup. It’s not fun to see our sin, but there’s mine.

I don’t know what comes next for me. I struggle with it daily. I hate endings, but I do love change. Change is the butterfly in the chrysalis. Change is the bulb ready to burst from the ground and become the flower. I just want the change so much that I am struggling with the layers I am currently in.

What if we used this time to reassess our priorities? What if we put each other first? What if we took the beauty from this pandemic to see that we all need more rest, more time with family, more time in nature, and more time away from the social media, television, and computer world? What if we all reconnected to ourselves, our thoughts, our priorities, and our world? I think we could emerge changed. Butterflies. Flowers. As our world heals from our overconsumption, what if we allowed this time to change us? Heal us? Heal the world?

I always write this blog to get my thoughts down so I can grow. I am transparent because I believe people need others to be transparent. We all want a sense of normal we can see. Suffering is normal. Loss is normal. Not knowing is normal. Even sitting being stuck is normal.

I am here to tell you that you have a choice. Every day. Every minute. Every hour. I am not here to advocate for God. I can only tell you that God has made me a better person through the Bible, my life, and my transformation. If you have space for him, he’ll make his way to you.

I know I want to dance. I know I want to teach. I believe I was made to do these things. I believe it’s what I am good at and called to do. Now what? God knows and I just need to be patient. Yes, I am patient with everyone but myself 🙂

I often finish this blog the same way. I will today. I love you. God loves you. This blog is a reminder to you and to me that we get to decide today’s priorities. Think long on that and don’t be distracted by other things.

Happy Wednesday. Sending my love to you wherever you are and with whatever makes your heart ache.